It’s been a day. It all started at 3 am, and with less than 3 hours of sleep, it’s felt like a non-stop cycle of what can go wrong, has gone wrong. Rejection. Feeling undervalued. Confrontation. Exhaustion. Here I am, lying down, feeling a mix of dejection and fragility. In just the last 10 minutes, I’ve caught myself wondering why I’m even bothering to try. This is miles away from the ambitious dreamer I usually am.
This year kicked off with a dream for me. A dream to make this little author business of mine a full-time gig. I dreamed about how proud I’d feel to bet on myself—to believe in me, even when it felt like so many around me doubted me day after day. “You just watch me,” I’d think to myself. I’d let my mind wander to what it would mean to finally call this my full-time passion. I’d daydream about my boss’s face when I hand in my resignation—years of feeling undervalued and an environment that slowly chipped away at my confidence and mental health. But in that moment, I’d have the last smile, revealing the empire I chose to build for myself.
Ambitious? Maybe. But my husband says there’s this thing about me, when I say I’m going to do something, somehow the mix of my passion and sheer stubbornness makes even the seemingly impossible happen. I’ve been lucky, honestly, to see my business grow so much in less than a year. Having the trust of over 30+ authors every month as I navigate marketing their books and finding them readers, I’m beyond grateful for every single one of them.
And I’m grateful they keep coming back. That they tell their friends. That they tag me in groups and recommend me to other authors. I couldn’t have anticipated this growth, and I’m both humbled and truly thankful for the support.
Which is why days like today hit a bit harder. When you care so deeply and put your all into every little thing you’re doing, it’s soul-crushing when things don’t go as planned. I’m a firm believer in the universe putting me exactly where I need to be, and that every opportunity meant for me will find me. But, that doesn’t make the hard days any easier to get through.
I guess for many authors, you go through the same. You get a rejection letter or a bad review, and you sit there wondering: is it all worth it? For me, it’s this thought of – I could walk away. I could go back to that boring day job, working 8-5, spouting corporate BS that doesn’t inspire me. But at least I’d get paid on time, have benefits, and paid time off. On a day like today, I wouldn’t have to “just work through it.” I could be taking full advantage of the sick leave I’ve been given, especially after my surgery last week, curled up with a good book, unbothered about deadlines or meeting unrealistic expectations. I could take weekends off again, and dive into books without end. I could. But I won’t.
There’s no satisfaction in letting the bad days win. So, here I am, deciding to work twice as hard. To give this my all. I AM, IN FACT, GOING TO BET ON MYSELF because deep down, I KNOW this is what I’m meant to do.
In the last few months, I haven’t felt as challenged, creative, and inspired as I have while working with authors. This is the part of marketing I missed – the doing part. I can talk stats, data, and strategy all day, but where I truly shine is in the creative bits. Where I get to create and implement. Where I take the load off you, doing what I love, so you can focus on writing books.
So, if there’s anything to take away from my ramblings, it’s to always bet on yourself. Being an author is tough, but every day, you all inspire me with your resilience and your dedication to telling the stories in your heart. Don’t give up, even when platforms mess you around, even when that negative review stings. Just keep betting on yourself, okay? And I promise to do the same. Even when it’s hard. Especially when giving up seems so much easier. We don’t do easy here. We persevere and believe that every right opportunity will come our way, exactly when it’s meant to.
